08-08-2022

introductory points to consider

The complexity of the divorce and remarriage issue in the Bible and followers of Jesus Christ presents believers of most spiritual maturity levels with issues regarding what Jesus truly said vs. what our evolution of church doctrine has created in a post-modern world. The issue of divorce dominates our Western culture, with most recent polls suggesting the divorce rate among Christians is not too far off from non-Christian divorce rates. For instance, “the annual divorce rate among married women with a nonreligious upbringing is around 5%. For religious women, it’s around 4.5%.

Many Christian’s will likely be called upon to advise a friend or loved one about this issue at one time or another in their life. The Bible teaches with reference to A) couples contemplating a divorce; B) those already divorced and contemplating remarriage; and C) those who have already been divorced and remarried.

Jesus taught that divorce and remarriage are paramount to adultery/sexual immorality (Matt.5:32/19:9), and since Paul wrote, that no adulterer will enter the Kingdom of God (1 Cor.6:9), which would include sinful remarriage (1 Cor.5:11) which does not perfectly align with what Jesus taught.

Two Different Perspectives

On one side, there are those in the defense of the institution of marriage without reservations, even for those who have divorced for arguably biblical reasons. In some cases, even those who were victims of an innocent divorce. Even to the extreme of having a lifetime of enduring an unfaithful spouse or an abusive/violent partner. The Church should uphold a standard, but not at the contradictory nature of going against Jesus’s example for allowing divorce.

On the opposite end are those who argue for total tolerance of divorce and remarriage, however, since this is a wide Wordly view, I won’t spend much time discussing this because clearly we don’t want to be at either extreme, most especially this side.

Texts in the Bible speaks directly to the subjects of marriage and divorce in the Old Testament: Genesis 2:24; Deuterony 24:1-4; Ezra 10:1-3; and Malachai. 2:6-16. In the New Testament, Matthew. 5:31-32; 19:3-12; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18; Romans 7:1-6; 1 Chorinthians7:10-15; and 1 Timothy 3:2.

A Godly Standard

There are some things that even God cannot do:

• He cannot lie (Titus 1:2)

• He cannot be tempted with sin (James 1:13)

• He cannot deny Himself (2 Timothy 2:13)

Therefore, God cannot command or endorse any Biblical deviations from His own character. In order to settle the divorce and remarriage dilemma, we require a more accurate character of God, making this of Biblical concern to Him. The character of God is observable in the Bible in His revealed values and in His decisions. This is why Jesus referred to “justice, mercy, and faithfulness” as “the weightier matters of the law” (Matt.23:23) because God is just, He is merciful and He is faithful, and anything else is of the Enemy.

The dissolution of a marriage involves breaking the oaths of perpetual fidelity before God and witnesses on the day of their marriage. This is an act of unfaithfulness, which violates God’s character, and an act of injustice, treachery, or an oath-breaker.

The initiating of an unjustified divorce is the breaking of the Bible's only permitted vow in the New Testament and is regarded by God and all right-minded judges as an act of treachery against a spouse (Jer.3:20/Mal.2:14-16). Such treachery is an atrocity before God, goes against the teaching of Jesus, and God has already stated in Malachai 2:16 that He “hates divorce” (Mal. 2:16). God says in Scripture the reason He hates it is because “it covers one’s garment with violence” and is “treacherous dealing.”

Unilateral Decisions: One person imposes their will against the will of another:

One of the great fallacies is that “there are no innocent parties in a divorce,” on the assumption that (both sides attributed to the culmination of divorce), however, do not fall for this. Bearing the guilt for personal imperfection is not the same as bearing the guilt for a failed marriage. Your spouse’s being moody, ill-tempered, disagreeable, irresponsible, unattractive, unresponsive, unaffectionate, unpleasant, insensitive, controlling, etc. can make your life miserable, but such things do not add up to providing you with grounds for breaking your marriage covenant because we chose that person and we signed the contract at the Court House and at the Altar with God. Additionally, people will change over time so there is adaptation and compassion that comes into the relationship.

Nothing of value comes at little expense, and a Godly marriage (treasures—Prov.12:4; 18:22; 31:10) generally requires trials and forgiveness to maintain the relationship, regardless if we are or we feel equally yoked. Those who cannot live out such humility should not initiate themselves in marriage vows (Ecc.5:2-6). Those who have made such vows, above all else, must be prepared to keep them. We become the protector between the World (attacker) and our children (our vows). Just like walking up to a Mother Grizzly bear with her cubs.

Those who do not keep their vows make collateral damage to their spouses, their children, and all other concerned parties.

Biblically, marriage vows have limited conditions for divorce:

Even the marriage covenant can be renounced upon the discovery of extreme moral violation (Deut.22:13ff; 24:1ff/ Hos.2:2/Matt.5:32). According to Jesus Christ, a faithful spouse can become free of the covenant obligations to a spouse who has treacherously broken thee covenant by what Jesus called “fornication” or "adultery."

A remarriage is a valid option to justified divorced individuals:

The only valid reason for preventing remarriage to a divorced person would be their first marriage is still biblically valid. If a person is not bound to an existing marriage, he or she is unmarried and eligible to get married again. Remarriage is permissible so far as the first marriage has or has not been validly terminated in the sight of God.

Someone forbidding any divorce or remarriage must demonstrate marriage is permanently and unconditionally binding before God, however, this would not be possible because it is not Scriptural. The usual argument is that a married couple is declared to be “one flesh” (Gen.2:24).

The question upon which a divorced person’s legitimate freedom to remarry must be determined is: “In the sight of God, has "what God has joined together" effectively been "put asunder" by man, and if so, by whom?” If there has been adultery, then it is the adulterer who has effectively put asunder what God joined. If there hasn't been any adultery, then the person seeking the divorce has put the marriage asunder and will have to repent of their actions.

Both adultery and divorce (for grounds other than fornication) were forbidden by Jesus in perpetuity. The only way a second marriage could be regarded as “adultery” would be when it, is violating an existing marriage covenant. If the first marriage covenant has come to an end according to God’s regulations, they would not be in violation in contracting a second marriage.

31 Bible Verses Regarding Divorce

1 Corinthians 7:15 ESV

But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.

Luke 16:18 ESV

“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

Matthew 5:32 ESV

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 ESV

To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

Matthew 5:31-32 ESV

“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

1 Peter 3:7 ESV

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Matthew 19:9 ESV

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Malachi 2:16 ESV

“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

Romans 7:2 ESV

For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.

Mark 10:2-9 ESV

And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ...

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 ESV

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man's wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.

1 Timothy 3:2 ESV

Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,

Matthew 19:3-9 ESV

And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” ...

Exodus 20:14 ESV

“You shall not commit adultery.

Ephesians 5:25 ESV

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

Matthew 19:8 ESV

He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning, it was not so.

Matthew 19:6 ESV

So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Matthew 19:4-6 ESV

He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Matthew 5:31 ESV

“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’

Genesis 2:24 ESV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

1 Corinthians 7:10 ESV

To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband

Matthew 19:1-30 ESV

Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? ...

Hebrews 13:4 ESV

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

John 3:16-17 ESV

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

Mark 10:11 ESV

And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her,

Ephesians 5:22 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Mark 10:1 ESV

And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them.

Matthew 16:19 ESV

I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

Song of Solomon 1:1-17 ESV

The Song of Songs, which is Solomon's. Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine; your anointing oils are fragrant; your name is oil poured out; therefore virgins love you. Draw me after you; let us run. The king has brought me into his chambers. We will exult and rejoice in you; we will extol your love more than wine; rightly do they love you. I am very dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, like the tents of Kedar, like the curtains of Solomon. ...

Matthew 19:8-9 ESV

He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning, it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Genesis 1:27 ESV

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.