Would you rather have someone you can teach or someone who’s a freak?

“That’s a lot of practice…. yikes.”

08-11-2022

Do not have sex before marriage. Period.

Something I heard once was: "There are two types of men. There are men who get laid a lot. And there are men who get the left-overs in their thirties." If you have the confidence and self-control to not have sex, who will have the discipline and self-control to pick a partner that shares your same values and you won't be sleeping with women that have been "ran-through" or men that have "sewn his seed."

Statistically, 100% of women will not date or sleep with 80% of the male population. This means they are all going for the top 20% of men who are typically the type of men that sleep around. For instance, felons have 30% more children than non-felons. Statistically, women date and sleep with hot, wealthy, trashy men. Additionally, a majority of the time women strictly date up and men will settle by dating down.

Also, statistically speaking, women between the ages of 18-28 sleep with the "bad boys" who have the highest propensity to cheat on their partners. And when women begin approaching their 30s they decide to stop dating the "bad boys" and cheaters and go back to the other 80% of men they had been rejecting the last decade because they are the "nice guys." We know the types of people that won't cheat on us but we don't pick them (aka "friend-zoned). If women hate being cheated on then why do they pick men who will cheat?

In this post-modern era, men are also at risk of choosing women who have a higher propensity to cheat because of the rapid expansion of hypergamy (the action of marrying or forming a sexual relationship with a person of a superior sociological or educational background).

The world will tell you many things to justify having sex before marriage, many of them range from stupid to stupid-er:

  • You need to take it for a test drive

  • You need the practice

  • Nobody is a virgin anymore

  • How do you know if he/she is any good?

  • You don't want to get married without being good at it

  • You can't marry someone who has never had sex before

  • Find out what you like

  • You need to find out if your wanker is big enough

  • You need to find out how competent you are

  • Your friends will make fun of you if you don't

  • Sex is a duty

  • If you aren't getting it from your partner, go get it somewhere else

  • It's biology

The reality is, that the Bible speaks so profoundly, warning against sexual immorality, not because God says sex is bad. God made sex to be good. Why do you think it feels like a drug?

It was meant to be so good and so addictive that it actually could be the thing that keeps two believers together for a lifetime; if they have never ever experienced it before. It was by God's design to be the heroin for Christ-following married, couples. With no withdrawal. No hangover. Zero negative effects. With an unlimited source. Chew on that. (I wasn't always such a convicted believer, trust me)

It's when we begin twisting sexuality, and abusing it there are serious consequences. Warnings against sexual immorality in this world are an attempt to keep you from having to deal with all of the consequences of having that one-night stand that could, quite literally, ruin your life forever, with someone you don't even like. To which we will address many of the problems throughout this writing. I lived it by making those poor choices and making exceptions for myself, trying to justify my actions and it cost me not more than you will ever fully know. This is my warning to you based on my life experiences.

Out of all of the subject matter categories in the Bible; sex, adultery, and sexual immorality have over 40 verses in the Bible that discuss this topic. If you look at the historical figures in the Bible and represent which ones dealt with sexual immorality it turned out bad for them... really bad. If you compare male to female individuals in the Bible, you would be hard pressed to find a female who experienced these types of consequences in the Bible.

Samson and Delilah - loss of his power, betrayal, death

Joseph and Potiphar's Wife - placed in a dungeon

David and Bathsheba - lies, deceit, betrayal, murder, death of a child, disconnection from God

Cities: Corinth and Ephesus - incest, beastiality, zoophilia, orgies, prostitution

Cities: Sodom and Gamora - sulfur and fire, complete annihilation, mass grave

Prostitution and Sex Parties and Orgies in the Ancient World:

Inanna (Sumer), Ishtar (Mesopotamia), Hathor and Isis (Egypt), Cybele (Anatolia), Astarte (Canaan), Demeter (Greece), Aphrodite (Greece), and Venus (Rome). All these goddesses ruled human sexuality, the erotic uses of the body. The practice of sex worship for gods throughout the ancient world was widely practiced around the world. Paul the Apostle was addressing the Temple of Diana where sexual relations were considered standard cult practices with priestesses when worshipping these deities. He also addressed sex with animals and sexual relations with family members because it was actually being tolerated in the church. If Paul came to visit our church, try to imagine the types of letters he might write about us!

According to the World Health Organization (WHO)

Overview:

More than 30 different bacteria, viruses, and parasites are known to be transmitted through sexual contact. Eight of these pathogens are linked to the greatest incidence of sexually transmitted disease. Of these, 4 are currently curable: syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and trichomoniasis. The other 4 are viral infections that are incurable: hepatitis B, herpes simplex virus (HSV or herpes), HIV, and human papillomavirus (HPV).

STIs are spread predominantly by sexual contact, including vaginal, anal, and oral sex. Some STIs can also be transmitted from mother to child during pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding.

A person can have an STI without showing symptoms of the disease. Common symptoms of STIs include vaginal discharge, urethral discharge or burning in men, genital ulcers, and abdominal pain.

Scope of the problem:

More than 1 million STIs are acquired every day. In 2020, WHO estimated 374 million new infections with one of four STIs: chlamydia (129 million), gonorrhea (82 million), syphilis (7.1 million), and trichomoniasis (156 million). More than 490 million people were estimated to be living with genital HSV (herpes) infection in 2016, and an estimated 300 million women have an HPV infection, the primary cause of cervical cancer. An estimated 296 million people are living with chronic hepatitis B globally. Both HPV and hepatitis B infections are preventable with vaccination.

STIs can have serious consequences beyond the immediate impact of the infection itself.

STIs like herpes, gonorrhea, and syphilis can increase the risk of HIV acquisition.

  • Mother-to-child transmission of STIs can result in stillbirth, neonatal death, low-birth weight and prematurity, sepsis, pneumonia, neonatal conjunctivitis, and congenital deformities.

  • Approximately 1 million pregnant women were estimated to have active syphilis in 2016, resulting in over 350 000 adverse birth outcomes, of which 200,000 occurred as stillbirth or neonatal death.

  • HPV infection causes cervical cancer. Cervical cancer is the fourth most common cancer among women globally, with an estimated 570 000 new cases in 2018 and over 311 000 cervical cancer deaths each year (2).

  • Hepatitis B resulted in an estimated 820 000 deaths in 2019, mostly from cirrhosis and hepatocellular carcinoma (primary liver cancer).

  • STIs such as gonorrhea and chlamydia are major causes of pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) and infertility in women.

What happens when you married for good sex but your partner leaves you through a divorce:

Cost: Divorce can cost $2,000 - $40,000+ depending on the lengthiness of the court process.

Time: If you are married for more than 10 years, you and your partner split all of your assets, physical and monetary, 50-50 automatically. Exceptions are state-by-state variations in law, prenuptial agreement, or married less than 10 years.

Kids: Child support is calculated by the Guideline Calculator in California. See here: https://childsupport.ca.gov/calculate-child-support/

Men: You will be required to pay alimony and or/health insurance for your previous spouse.

What does the Bible say about sex?

2 Corinthians 12:21

21 I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged.

Ephesians 5:3

3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

Galatians 5:19

19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery.

Hebrews 13:4

4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

1 Corinthians 6:9

9 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men.

Matthew 5:28

28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality.